Setting Goals as a Team: How Couples Can Create SMART Goals Together
- Marcelle Craig
- Nov 14
- 3 min read
When you’re in a relationship, it’s not always easy to talk about what you want. For some couples, expressing those hopes in words can feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. For others, the conversations come easily—but the follow-through can be tough.
That’s why I created a worksheet to help couples set joint SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). If you’re someone who struggles to express what you need, this tool can help guide those conversations and make them feel more approachable. And if you’re already comfortable communicating your goals, the worksheet can help you take things to the next level—turning good intentions into clear, shared action.
It’s a simple, structured way to bring more collaboration, clarity, and accountability into your relationship—without losing the warmth and connection that matter most.
Why Setting SMART Goals Together Matters
Most couples know how to set individual goals—like “I want to go to the gym more” or “I’m going to manage my stress better.” But setting goals as a team is a little different. It asks both partners to collaborate, compromise, and communicate in new ways.
When couples take time to define shared goals, they:
Build a shared vision of what they want for their relationship.
Strengthen communication and problem-solving skills.
Reduce misunderstandings about expectations.
Feel more like teammates instead of opponents.
Even the process of talking about your goals can bring you closer—it’s less about the checklist and more about how you work together to build the life you both want.
The SMART Goals Framework (Made Simple)
You might’ve heard of SMART goals before, but here’s how it looks in a relationship context:
Specific: What exactly do you want to do together?
Instead of “We’ll spend more time together,” try “We’ll plan one date night at home every Thursday after dinner.”
Measurable: How will you know you’re making progress?
Example: “We’ll check in every Sunday about how connected we felt that week.”
Achievable: Make sure your goal fits your current lifestyle and emotional bandwidth.
Starting small builds trust and momentum.
Relevant: Does this goal actually matter to both of you right now?
Choose something that feels meaningful, not just “nice to have.”
Time-bound: Give yourselves a timeline so it stays a priority.
“We’ll try this for the next six weeks and revisit it.”
What Relationship SMART Goals Looks Like in Practice
Let’s say you both want to communicate better. A SMART version of that goal might sound like:
“We’ll set aside 15 minutes every Sunday evening to check in about how the week went, listen without interrupting, and name one thing we appreciated about each other. We’ll do this for the next two months.”
That goal has a clear structure, accountability, and a built-in moment of appreciation—something small but powerful that shifts conversations away from blame toward connection.
Some Considerations for SMART Goals as a Couple
It might be helpful to consider how the worksheet will be utilized and followed up. Here are some additional things you may want to consider.
Set aside intentional time. You'll need time to brainstorm on your own as well as to come together to discuss. This doesn't have to happen in one day. Consider setting a time limit and then scheduling a follow-up check-in if everything doesn't get discussed then.
Incorporate ways you show your love. These conversations can get heavy so it might be helpful before and after to have a way to express love and appreciation for one another.
Discuss intentions. Discussing the intentions of the goals might seem obvious but may be a reminder to both people that we're doing this to grow closer, not to attack.
Listen to your body for signs of emotional dysregulation. If this happens, consider not pushing through and checking in with what you may need (a pause in the conversation, a hug, reassurance from your partner, get some air, take a food break, etc.)
Pick one goal to focus on first and use the SMART framework to define it clearly.
Check in regularly. Notice what’s working and what feels hard, and adjust as needed.
It doesn’t have to be perfect—what matters most is that you’re working with each other, not against each other.
A Gentle Reminder for SMART Goals in Your Relationship
Your relationship goals don’t have to look like anyone else’s. The point isn’t to make your partnership “productive”—it’s to stay connected, intentional, and aware of each other’s needs.
So, pour some tea, grab the worksheet, and sit down together. Talk about what matters most. Pick one small thing you can both commit to. Then celebrate every bit of progress you make along the way.
Because when you work toward something together, you’re not just reaching goals—you’re strengthening the foundation of your relationship.
Comments