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COUPLES THERAPY:
STRENGTHENING YOUR BOND

Relationships can feel complicated but I'll help you learn to understand what's going on so you can 

confront what's getting in the way of the teammate you want to be

and better understand your partner as well as help them get who you are. 

Let's figure out healthier ways for you to act, communicate, strive to be a realistic version of #relationshipgoals and more satisfied overall.​

Experiencing Hurdles and Working on Repair:

Things were going okay but lately you've been noticing you've been in a rough patch. This has been going on longer than you'd like and you don't want to call it but you're not sure what to do.

This might be you if:

  • you keep arguing all the time.

  • addressing concerns regarding long periods of low intimacy and sex dissatisfaction.

  • tacking the Gottmans' "four horsemen" (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling).

  • you find yourself avoiding your partner to limit conflict.

  • you feel like your partner is becoming more disconnected.

  • there's been an incident of infidelity or betrayal that you two haven't healed from.

  • you don't feel like you can trust your partner anymore.

  • you're experiencing a life transition and you notice the stress is feeling a bit much.

  • you just feel that you two can't on the same page.

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​This sounds like many couples I've worked with. I'd love to help you get back on track to a place where you and your partner feel more hopeful about the future.

Getting a Tune-Up and Improving Connection:

I will often get asked if couples counseling works to help people improve their relationships. I think it can and that one of the biggest aspects of this is WHEN you get into therapy. Some couples make the mistake of waiting until things are at a breaking point to get support. But with regular check-ins, we can make sure that you're maintaining your relationship to be longstanding.

This might sound like you if:

  • you've been together a long time and have had some changes that need to be acknowledged.

  • you're trying to make moves and want to make sure y'all are good through that process.

  • there have been some recent transitions that you two are still adjusting to.

  • you went to couples therapy before and found it beneficial.

  • spicing it up in the bedroom (and other rooms) and improving intimacy.

  • acknowledging and moving out of the "roommate" phase.

  • you want a supportive space to connect with your partner and talk about deeper things than the regular household routine.

  • adjusting to pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood.

  • there are some ideas you have that you'd like to start doing with your partner.

  • you want to talk more about your dreams for the future.

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Sound like you and your other half? Let's schedule a time to meet.

Setting the Foundation with Pre-Marital Support:

Whether you have decided to make sure that you're setting a strong foundation for your relationship future or others have encouraged you to be proactive, you and your loved one want to make sure that you're ready for what's to come. This may mean that you're dating or planning to take steps to bigger commitments- all are welcome! Let's build the groundwork for a healthy starting point.

Some possible focuses may include:

  • getting clear on expectations, values, and dreams.

  • preparing for transitioning from one stage of the relationship to another (i.e. getting engaged, moving in together, shifting from relationship being long-distance to local).

  • family planning discussions.

  • strengthening communication skills. 

  • addressing current areas where you may feel misaligned. 

  • navigating family dynamics.

  • understanding how to use boundaries, space, and quality time in a way that you two feel 

  • considering mixed culture relationship differences.

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If that resonates with you, I encourage you to schedule a consultation to explore next steps.

Things to Consider with Couples Counseling: 

When starting couples counseling, here are some things I recommend considering:

  • Both people should be on board! Sure, it's normal to have mixed feelings about therapy but if you're dragging your partner to therapy, you may want to consider individual therapy first.

  • I always find individual therapy with couples counseling most helpful but it's not required. I will say, I'll probably encourage it though as our time together unfolds so that you can do more work on what's coming up for you. 

  • My services are online so that means you and your partner could be in the same location or different locations if you need to. It is best for both people to be free from distractions so try to find a place that could help you stay present in the situation.

  • Your therapist should not be your secret keeper. If you tell me something, I'm assuming it's okay to bring it up in session or I'm going to assist you in bringing it up. I'm the relationship's therapist.

  • Things might get heated and you won't always leave the conversation happy with your partner (or possibly even me lol). I typically suggest building in some positive things to help you regulate following tough sessions and taking some space if needed. 

  • It can be helpful if you and your partner talk before we meet about what you hope to be the goals and expectations of this space. Doesn't mean you have to be on the same page completely but just so both of you are in the know.

  • Be patient- change takes time. That goes for your partner as well.

  • I'm all for being realistic so we will set realistic goals for you and your partner. Your partner will also have to weigh in on if that's realistic for them.

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If you'd love to talk about this more or have questions, let's schedule a time to meet!

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